As time goes by, each day that I sit in the traffic flicking between KFM, Goodhope FM, 5FM, Radio 2000 and CapeTalk, I find that there is one constant that comes to light across all of these radio stations.
Northern Suburb residents drive like complete fucking idiots.
Every single bloody day there’s either a pedestrian knocked down, or a truck broken down, or, the source of my slander above, multiple accidents either on the N1, N2, Vanguard Drive, Borchard’s Quarry, Koeberg Road, Bosmansdam Road, the R102, the R300, or the N7. EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. DAY.
Not one day goes by without some dumb Northern Suburbs fuck causing delays for everybody else because he (or she!) drives like a fuckwit. Let’s explore the reasons for this shall we?
No, you know what? Let’s not. I’m glad I don’t live in the Northern Suburbs. I wouldn’t want that poor driving ability to seep into my brain like a virus, an airborn parasitic virus embedding itself in my brain causing me to think “Oh look! There’s a gap the size of my Subaru, I’ll go wedge in there, just so I can skip past the fuck in the volksie in front of me.” No sir! Fuck that.
If you live in the Northern Suburbs, go learn to drive you fat fuck!
